UNIQLO: Dang Pants. You Comfy.

They all about that fashion and comfort. My legs thank you.

They all about that fashion and comfort. My legs thank you.

 

Have you ever had a pair of pants that were so comfy, it felt like you had clouds hugging the lower half of your body? Well I never did. Let me tell you about my previous pairs of pants (This is going to get exciting so hold on to the seat of your pants. See what I did there? You’re welcome).

I own a pair of Express jeans. Never bought pants from them before but I have bought their shirts. They make good shirts. They fit my Asian Small (Versus American Small) body. So I think, “Hey, they got shirts figured out, how about pants?” Apparently they didn’t pass that class. I have never worn a pair of jeans so uncomfortable. How uncomfortable, Jon? Well, imagine if your pair of pants were lined with Velcro but not the soft part. But they were on sale (Yea, I know. I’m stupid) and I figure, well they are new jeans and just need to be broken in. I wore them for about 6 months. Broken in? Nope! Still the same stiff piece of sand paper I had bought six months ago. So moral of this story? Don’t get jeans at Express and don’t fall for their sales (I’m looking at you never ending “Buy 1 Get One ½ Off”).

You don't like Express either huh?

You don’t like Express either huh?

So then my next pair I think, well I went cheap on pants and I got what I paid for. Let’s go buy fancy pants and make an investment into some nice jeans (The blog is called “Reasons I am Broke.” Just wanted to remind you…). I make my way to a Banana Republic. Find some jeans and drop the dollars and walk out. I didn’t even try them on cause more money means better, right? I put them on when I got home, and they were nice. On the comfy scale I would give them brand new PJs, comfortable but definitely not the comfort of PJs with some mileage (I’m real big on PJs btw. They even match). As time goes on, I can see that they are starting to wear out pretty quickly. Then one dark and stormy night….I was coming home from work and in my way was a river. Yes, a river (That’s how stormy it was).

But I think, “Hey, I’m agile and shit.”

No, Jon don’t jump it!

“Hey! I got this!”

I didn’t have it.

I leaped, slipped, and fell.

You know that feeling of when you fall into a river and still have to walk home covered in water and your shoes are like tiny ponds. Well it’s not fun. But back to the pants. I get home and hang up my pants since they are drenched and to my dismay, a rip. I ripped my pants and not the fun time, Sponge Bob signing songs, ripped pants. Seriously pants? I dropped dollars on you. You were the chosen one!

 

Hey Express pants…

 

I see you also like Uniqlo pants

I see you also like Uniqlo pants

With one pair out of commission and my other pair the pants they probably hand out when people arrive to Hell, I needed to find new pants. This brings me to Uniqlo, the paradise of pants. I walk in and learning my lessons from before, I try on a pair of jeans. If legs could smile, it would be because of these jeans (Smiling legs. There’s an image for you to go to sleep with). For $50 and free alterations, this was amazing. I didn’t stop there. Tried on some Chino and if there was a need for the perfect summertime pants, these were the pants (Summertime pants: When you don’t want wear shorts but also don’t enjoy the feeling of sweaty legs in jeans). Not enough comfort for you? Then Uniqlo also has Male Jeggings. So if you want to feel like you’re wearing PJs, then go crazy (I was too disoriented with the comfort and flexibility. You shouldn’t be able to do yoga in jeans). You want great pants, Uniqlo is the business. Express? Not the business.

Reasons You Are Broke: Where do you like to buy pants? Anything you would recommend and not recommend? Leave a comment below and feel free to follow me (I’m into that).

Titanfall: HEY, LOOK AT ME! I’M CONTRIBUTING!!

titanfall_logo

In one of my older posts, I mentioned that I am super awful at finishing games. How awful? Well, my roommate finishes my games before I do and then I still don’t beat them. Ideal games for me are ones that I can easily just pick up and play like fighting games or shooters. Games with awful or convoluted storylines that really have no influence on the way one plays the game. I am a huge fan of games like Tekken, Soulcalibur, and Call of Duty. Tekken is a great fighting game. The barrier to entry is low but takes some time to master (Great for anyone who doesn’t know or can’t do hadoken moves. Or likes to not have their thumbs on fire after a match). Now, if you asked me what the story is for Tekken, my response would be, “HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I HAVE NO IDEA. SOMETHING TO DO WITH DEVIL GENES AND A PANDA AND AN OLD GUY WHO WILL NEVER DIE!” It’s on it’s sixth installment and they always include a story mode. Always. I haven’t been able to keep track since Tekken 2, but these are the games for me. Zero investment and I can jump in, beat up other people or be put in my place and get my face smashed in (more of the latter).

HOW CAN YOU HAVE A STORY WITH THIS MANY CHARACTERS?!?! Is that why Game of Thrones is so liberal with their killings?

HOW CAN YOU HAVE A STORY WITH THIS MANY CHARACTERS?!?! Is that why Game of Thrones is so liberal with their killings?

So I have been looking to pick up something that will scratch that itch for just random fun. This is where Titanfall comes in. I knew that it was supposed to be a good game, but I hadn’t put a whole lot of stock into it. On paper it sounds fun but didn’t seem too out of the ordinary for me to pick it up. A  first person shooter where you can summon giant mechs to stomp face with. Just sounds like Pacific Rim or Gundam battles which can be a great time but I haven’t seen too many successful attempts of games like that (I see you Dynasty Warriors Gundam 1-4. Yea they made that many…). It got some pretty good reviews and I gave in. My verdict?

Awesome Sauce.

This is a great game. it does a lot of things right and added some new elements to the worn out FPS (First Person Shooter) games like Call of Duty, which pretty much puts out the same game every year with different guns and new things to drop from the sky to kill people. Titanfall is able to bring the exciting and thrilling elements of FPSs with seamless movements and abilities from Mirror’s Edge and can transition fluidly to controlling Titans (Giant robots) to fight other Titans. How does it do that? Well let me tell you reader (You’re still there, right?).

Best feeling ever. Like the Matrix but better.

Best feeling ever. Like the Matrix but better.

Awesome Point 1: Every match starts off with you zip lining out of a plane. There is nothing to make you feel more like a boss than jumping out of a plane with your homies to do what? Go on a killing spree (Or dying spree. I’m not that good…).

Awesome Point 2: You can call Titans down from the sky. Yea, you heard me. They just come from the sky and create a large epic cloud dust and then you can jump in and beat some face. Well let’s say I don’t have a Titan to beat up an enemy Titan. “Oh no Jon! You will probably die if you don’t run. You should just lie down and take it.” To that I say FIE (Yea, I just went there). Which leads me to my Next Awesome Point.

Come on big fella

Come on big fella

Awesome Point 3: Jumping on the back of an enemy Titan and aggressively unloading all of your ammo inside of it is a very rewarding feeling. Great for stress relieving. Then it explodes and you get launched up in to the air and come crashing back down and have to reorient yourself so you don’t die after doing something super awesome (No better buzz kill than being killed after doing something awesome. I think that’s just regular life too).

Awesome Point 4: This is the last awesome point, but it is the best awesome point. Being good at a FPS is generally based on the fact that you have played a FPS before. Maybe you have a gift (I certainly do not), then lucky you. Go get’em. For the rest of us normal people, that means the barrier to entry of a FPS is pretty steep and if you are going to jump straight into the online fray, then have fun being called lots of colorful names by children half your age as they tea bag your dead virtual body (This is for real people). Titanfall is not this and has come up with a great way to make everyone feel like they are “part of the team.” It’s super simple too: AI bots. Every match has a certain number players and a larger number of AI bots that are easy to kill (Mmmmmmm. Fodder). So that problem of not being awesome at FPS and getting destroyed three seconds after spawning and for once has been diminished. You can feel like you aren’t the problem child and why your team lost. This incorporation of easy pickin’ grunts is the most Awesome Point.

Not So Awesome Point 1: Has to run through Origin. That is all.

So Jon, should I go pick up Titanfall? I say so. It’s a great game if you don’t have time to commit to something long term like a JRPG (Yea, I’ll get to you Tales games…). I think it is fun for any level of shooter and even helps someone get better since you aren’t being ROFL Stomped every second (That might just be me though).

From Quickly to Purple Kow: A Story of Love, Loss and Boba (Based on the novel Push by Sapphire)

 I spend a ton of money on boba in general. I used to live near a Quickly (They are pretty quick). This was while I was still in college, so I could easily pop in on my way to and from class. I went pretty often. Ok, but how “often” did you actually go?

I was a regular.

And not just a “regular” but a regular. They knew not just my face, but my usual drink of choice. Not impressed? Well I’m not finished! Even if they weren’t looking at me, they knew it was me by my voice and my drink order. They even knew my order on days that I wanted something different than the usual. WHO KNOWS THAT?! And yea, I knew them by name (Miss you, Kenneth and Olivia). You ever watch the TV show Cheers (Yup, just dated myself) and hear the part in the theme song, “Sometimes you want to go, where everybody knows your name. Baah Bah Bah Bah”  and you just hope that one day, you’ll find that place (Just me?). Well Quickly was that place…

"I'll always remember. It was late afternoon. It lasted forever. And ended too soon" - Cry by Mandy Moore

“I’ll always remember.
It was late afternoon.
It lasted forever.
And ended too soon” – Cry by Mandy Moore

Then I moved across campus (I know. Super far). BUT it was very far from Quickly where I was a regular (Did I mention I was regular. I wasn’t sure if I told you. Regular). It was out of the way now and then eventually Kenneth and Olivia…graduated *single tear*. Sadly, on the other side of the campus, there was not a lot of boba options in general. I started to think that I was going to have to cut myself off and switch to an alternative like water. Luckily, one opened up soon after I moved. It was more of a fancier tea shop. Like REAL tea, from REAL tea leaves. Crazy. I know. A little on the more expensive end, but again REAL tea. I started to go pretty often since it was the only game in town (Filled my fair share of stamp cards there). They started to recognize my face, but were not “Kenneth and Olivia” status. Becoming a regular again is hard, guys.

Now we jump ahead about a year and I am walking by a random store front. I think it was a Mexican restaurant that ended up moving or just shutting down. On the front window, a sign said, “Purple Kow, coming soon!” OH?! Qu’est-ce que c’est, “Purple Kow?” I had heard of it, but I had never been to one before. They were famous for their buckets (Like their cups are so big, they are like buckets. Cupkets? You’re welcome, Purple Kow). I heard that they always had a line at the one in the San Francisco, so can’t be that bad right. Unless it’s a line for people who hate themselves and want to have terrible boba. In any case, I was pretty excited. The new place was good but I wouldn’t mind spending less money for less quality that comes in the bucket.

Probably the most unrelated name of a store to its product

Probably the most unrelated name of a store to its product

Opening day finally came. Lines were already formed. The people wanted their boba. I wanted their boba. So I wanted in line, about 15 min or so (I’ve waited longer. TPumps. I see you). I finally got a chance to see the menu. It had milk teas, fruit teas, weird things called QQ (Still no idea what it is. Not bad though) What would I order? Would I love it? Hate it? Throw up from disgust or excitement? It was finally my turn to order and I decided on fresh mango, green tea (So typical. I know. I know). They called my order and handed me my bucket. It pretty much looked like green tea with pieces of mango floating in it.

Stab. Sip.

Refreshing. Crisp. Tasty. It was pretty good! And so starts my long relationship with Purple Kow. Their drinks are quite good and they have a large variety of drinks that I like (Quickly has a metric shit ton of flavors, but only one I actually like). I throw a large amount of money at boba and for now Purple Kow will be that net to catch that money. They don’t know my name or face or order yet (So nothing really), but I’ve come to realize that these things take time. At Quickly, I never expected for them to know me but it happened and I was very pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t even about the boba later, but about the randomly nice relationship that sprouted from ordering a Jasmine Green Milk Tea with Mango Stars for a very long time. Not everywhere is going to be that however.  So for now, I will just treat myself to a boba and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be a regular once more.

Here’s looking at you Kenneth and Olivia.

EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!: Here Lego Movie, Take My Money…

LEGO MOVIE

LEGO MOVIE

If you follow my blog (You guys do right?), you know that I have a deep passion and love for all things Lego. So when the Lego Movie was announced, one would assume that I would be losing my mind and doing cartwheels, cheerleader high kicks, giving high fives and hugs extremely liberally (You people think weird things about me. And yea I meant you people). On the contrary! I was actually pretty skeptical. After watching the trailer, I thought, “Looks ok?” BUT JON! What a mild response to a movie that is about everything you live for! I know, I know. Hear me out for a second.

Imagine, if you would, your most favorite thing in the world. Puppies? Kitties? Egg McMuffins (To each their own)? Then someone told you that they are going to make a movie about it! Let’s go with the Egg McMuffin…

The Initial Wave: EXCITEMENT!!!! You have been dreaming about this your whole life. A movie about Egg McMuffins!!! It’ll probably be Egg-gent McMuffin saving the world from his mortal enemy, the evil 10:30AM! There are awesome explosions, fight scenes, romance (use your imagination…), drama, comedy, value meals. Oscar contender? More like the Nobel Peace Prize (because it would be so great, it would cause world peace).

The “Ehhhhhhhhhhh” Wave: After the initial wave comes that annoying thing called realistic expectations (Super annoying).Well, how good can a movie about the Egg McMuffin be? Is the Egg McMuffin going to animated? So just a cartoon breakfast sandwich (which will definitely be way less delicious looking) with a face and limbs, that runs around and solves problems? That problem being…not enough…obesity (Sorry. Public Health Major)? This movie will probably be watchable but it can’t be that great…

Really Lego Movie? Really?

Really Lego Movie? Really?

I was pretty much in the “Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” wave for a while about the Lego movie. As the movie was coming closer to premier, I kept hearing more great things. Morgan Freeman, Elizabeth Banks, and Chris Pratt? Sure, why not. Then I found out that Batman was in it AND he would be voiced by Will Arnett! “Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” started to become “Ehhhh.” I was starting to believe that maybe, juuussssssttttttt maybe this could work out. The movie premiered and I was told that it had received a 97% of Rotten Tomatoes! Shut the front door! Then open it and SHUT IT AGAIN! A 97%?! Ok now I have to see it because, seriously? That good?

Yes, it was that good.

Amazing? That is an understatement. The Lego Movie was beautifully executed with great comedy and a lovely, deep message about letting creativity be free. It definitely didn’t take itself seriously and utilized the fact that it is a movie about Legos very well. The voice actors were well casted and it is great to see a funnier, wackier side of actors like Morgan Freeman and Liam Neeson. And yes, Will Arentt IS AMAZING as Batman. I was definitely more than pleasantly surprised (Like ordering fries from Burger King and getting a surprise Onion Ring. That good). It takes everything that Toy Story did right in terms of nostalgia and people’s attachment to toys, added some “Oh my sides hurt” comedy and slapped on one of the greatest songs to have ever graced our ears.

I will leave that as my review (Longest set up for the shortest review ever. I am so good at this). That is pretty much what my brain threw up after finishing the movie. There was a lot of good in the movie and I will just leave it up to you to go watch it. If you don’t, you would be doing a disservice to yourself, your childhood, and that super painful feeling of stepping barefoot on a Lego piece (That sweet nostalgic pain). My love for all things Legos continues shine on.

Oh and I watched it twice. Bye, bye money!

Back And More Broke Than Ever

Hello, world who happens to read this blog (Hi, mom). I know that I haven’t posted anything in a while and all of you have been screaming “OH MY GOD JON WHY HAVEN’T YOU POSTED ANYTHING?! HOW CAN I LIVE?!” (Ok, well, you actually haven’t but I’d like to think that you do). So let me explain really quick:

I got a job.

Tada. There, super quick. Now that I have a job, one would think that I would have more money… so I should be less broke…and actually afford the things that I want to buy…therefore defeating the purpose of this blog! On the contrary, for you see, young Padawan, jobs lead to money and money leads to spending and spending leads to the dark insides of my wallet (Eh. Eh. See what I did there). In any case, I have more money, therefore I will be buying more things which means I will be updating my blog a lot more frequently. So be on the look out for some new stuff that I buy and you can either live vicariously through because you are wise and do not throw your money at everything that “will be awesome,” but for those who want to live on the edge with me, I will include links to all the cool things that I buy (Only the cool stuff. No point in more people making terrible decisions. You can leave that to me).

For now I will leave with a small word about something I just got:

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So I didn’t actually buy this. I got it at a white elephant party (Yea it’s been a while. I brought a small Lego set. Not sure who came out better…probably the guy who got the Legos). This is a Dreamie. It is a bottom sheet, top sheet, and…wait for it….a pillow cover all in one. It even has a convenient carrying sack (heh sack). This extremely thin sleeping bag is mainly used for sleeping on couches, at least that’s what the box tells me. It’s mildly comfy sleeping in this silky looking polyester couch condom but not really a replacement for a blanket. If you are one who is uncomfortable crashing at a friend’s place and would rather not have direct contact with their personal fart cushions, then the Dreamie is just for you (So all of us really…unless you’re into that).

Post E3: Brace Yourselves….Poverty Is Coming

I am a little late on this but….E3 right?! The biggest convention that makes my wallet shake in fear. For those who don’t know or have never heard of it, E3 (or the Electronic and Entertainment Expo) is the biggest event for video games that comes once a year. Kind of like Mardi Gras for nerds. All of the big companies like Sony and Mirco-suck (I’m a fan of Sony. Not sure if that came across) come out and hold very fancy press conferences which are like beauty pageants and they are trying to win the votes of many sweaty, excited nerds around the world (sweat may or may not be from excitement). So for someone like me, I get very excited about these things and my credit card is bracing itself for the excessive swiping in the coming year.

After E3: JUST TAKE MY MONEY!!

Like the “responsible” person I am, I just pre ordered my PS4.  “But Jon! You don’t have a job still!” Yes, wallet! I know that! The very hopeful me tells me that I am going to have a job in December (Right?). The way I see it, I am going to get one any way. Also I can’t pass up on the awesome reactions of my friends who don’t have one yet. “Awwwww man, that’s sooo awesome. You’re the coolest guy ever Jon! I hope to be like you one day!” (I may have embellished a little but only a little. It happens…why would I lie?!) This one purchase is more the start of a cascade of many smaller purchases. Such is the nature of gaming.  Once I have the system, I now have the freedom to drop money on games. So free… (If you haven’t figured it out by now, I have very little restraint on myself when it comes to awesome things). Well you can’t possibly play that many games at one time right Jon? Well…let me explain….

So some people have told me that I am terrible at finishing games. Have I disagreed? No. But for me, it’s not always about finishing. I really enjoy playing every game that I have, whether that is playing it for 2 hours or 40 hours. I am paying for the experience, and let me tell you: experiences have gotten really expensive! This really goes for anything but I’ll talk about those other things another time (Fanime, movies, eating, magic…Etc.). Video games! There is just so much variety out there and they trigger different things and appeal to me in a variety of ways. For instance, there are games out there with very involved and interesting stories that just suck you in. On the other side, there are games that are just mindless fun (I play more of the mindless fun stuff). Sometimes I really enjoy the stories and the fantastic gameplay, but then there are just some days where I am just not in the mood to think that hard. This is why I don’t finish every game I play. I get the experience I wanted, but then there is always something new and interesting which makes my brain go, “HEY LOOK AT THAT! THAT’S FUN!” So then I move on (Gaming companies must love people like me). This is just the way we as consumers have evolved. It is no longer about a particular item that is being purchased but the experience that comes with it. We pay for moments that will be created and not so much the product itself. I sure do a lot of experiencing, which leads to me currently experiencing the joys of being broke.

Nerdy Paraphernalia: Damn It’s Hard Out Here For A Nerd

I am a nerd. No question. Here, just take a look at one wall of my apartment:

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Movie posters for days. This is just one wall…

It is so clear that I am a nerd. Do these things do anything besides collect dust really well for my dust collection? No, not really. Do they cost me an arm and a leg (I may or may not have a sold a kidney. I’m told I only need one)? Yes, being a nerd is tremendously expensive. I dump money into awesome paraphernalia so I can sit on the couch and think about how awesome I am for having awesome paraphernalia (Awesome. One more time for good measure. Makes me feel better). The only other time it pays off: friends who also like such money wasting items who do not have them. I get to gloat and wave my hand around like I am turning letters in Wheel of Fortune.

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Yea I got a bit more than Legos

I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who look at these things in the store and say, “Man, who would buy this stuff?” or “What a waste of money.” or “You don’t have space for that!” (Last one is the only thing that actually stops me. When I get my own house…). The best way for me to describe this desire for these lovely mantle pieces is like making a sandwich. One could make a very simple sandwich: bread and meat. Tada! Sandwich! Most people want a nice sandwich though, meaning that there is the addition of lettuce, tomato, avocado (Making a fancy sandwich? Yea, you want avocado), and some condiments like Dijon mustard. To get these additions, it costs a little bit more but you are also more satisfied. So I could buy a video game with no bells and whistles…OR, I can throw down some extra cash and get an awesome statue or an American flag with an assassin’s symbol on it to proudly hang on a wall.

I really do love these random things that litter my living space. It shows off who I am and what I think is cool or interesting. When I would bring friends over to my house who haven’t been there before, I would give them a tour of my room just to show them all the cool stuff (I’m like Willy Wonka but replace the candy with toys and such. No one turns into a blueberry. Yet…). Everything that they see has some kind of story of how I got it or why I wanted it (a looking glass into the mind of Jon. Oooooooo.). On a different side, I like to see the smile and awe on their faces. Because of these random toys and gadgets, I brought someone happiness, even if it is for a little bit (Helps to have nerd friends too). In the world we live in, we have to find times in our busy fifty hour work weeks to have fun. Fun for me is spending hours playing Magic the Gathering or talking about the deep story of Bioshock Infinite.

Yea, being a nerd is expensive. Worth it? Worth it.